The Asian Murphy's Law

Yes, I said it. There is someone I know (his identity shall not be revealed here) who has the uncanny ability for inopportune moments.

There are several that come to mind and yet I'm sure there are hundreds more that I am not aware of.

I will highlight the 3 moments that I have either heard or seen first hand.

Inauspicious moment #1

This guy woke up one morning after a night of drinking next to a dumpster at some Berkeley high school with a cheeseburger in each hand. He doesn't remember if the burgers were partially eaten or not and I do not recall if he ended up eating said burgers upon waking.

Inauspicious moment #2

Guy goes to southern california for the 4th of july. Guy and friends decide that they want to see the fireworks display that Disneyland is putting forth. Guy and friends do not want to pay for entry into said Disneyland in order to view the explosive aerial artwork so instead break into a nearby hotel pool area in order to partake. In his joyous excitement in discovering an area from which to watch the fireworks, at no fee, he decides to run, full bore, and jump into the pool. Upon jumping into the 5ft pool of water, he breaks his foot. On top of all this, he forgot about his wallet and cell phone in his pockets.

Surely, this guy was drunk, right? He had to have had a handle of some 80 proof liquor.... NOPE! He was completely sober.

Inauspicious moment #3

Now I will refer to him as intern as he is a brand spankin new intern that works at my company, Sangamo Biosciences. Intern is having a nice and quiet lunch with me and several co-workers and other interns in the kitchen. I communicate to him how cool it is to be blogging and how someday I aspire to be as prolific a blogger as the famous Tucker Max.

(if you don't know who Tucker Max is, I dare you to check his site http://www.tuckermax.com/stories.phtml and read the tucker max tries buttsex story. that is the story being referenced in this moment)

Upon hearing the words Tucker Max, the intern's eyes turn into saucers and I can see his brain instantly thinking of the buttsex story. I kinda make very subtle yet non descript references to the story and we both laugh. Then it happens..... the intern cannot hold it in any longer. He shouts a famous line from the story, "DID YOU JUST SHIT, ON MY DICK!?"

Ok, now all would be fine and dandy, in most cases. The co-workers and interns chillaxin in the kitchen are young and not really disturbed by hearing this. The PROBLEM was that a Scientist/Team Leader just happened to walk into the kitchen area right as the intern blurted out the phrase.

I have experienced many awkward silences in my life, from calling a stripper fat in a drunken stupor at the top of my lungs right when the music goes soft, to yelling in a quiet wine bar at the top of my lungs in order to find someone I know, while thinking the whole time that the wine bar was a club.

This moment almost trumps those.

So you see, he is the Asian Murphy's Law. Anything that can go wrong, has.

Holy shit.